Musings from the Manhut

Where the ebb and flow of life creates a cascade of words down the paper's face

Tag: running dialogue

Running Dialogue- Part 4

I took a few days off from writing these so I quit posting them. I’d hate to have y’all get ahead of me. I have about 100 of them and still haven’t finished yet. I’ll only post some on days I write some.

#40 Dare I say it? I do believe I talked myself out with this one. I can’t think of another damn thing to say but I have ten points to go. I really want to get to fifty this time. I just have this compulsion to push myself to fifty. I secretly hope post 50 unravels the universe.

#41 Yesterday in an oddball attempt to get out of work at the office I composed 40 points entirely unworthy of reading. This morning as I wait for the sun to rise I feel compelled to continue this strange experiment in mental spelunking. I have no idea why but I need to continue.

#42 I ended yesterday’s insipidity with a hope that when I hit 50 of these snippets all the mysteries of the universe will unfold and unravel before my eyes and I will transform into some sort of enlightened guru of cosmic peace and prosperity. I kind of doubt that will happen.

#43 I find an odd serenity when I write things down. The mere act of writing calms my nerves, settles my senses and eases my burden. Knowing that some real friends read my writing helps by making me feel accountable as well. Writing always feels like both a curse and a blessing.

#44 Writing has plagued my heart and mind for most of my life. At about 10 years old I read a book on the assassination of Abraham Lincoln. When I finished the book I put it down and said I want to write books. Not a day has passed since then when I have not written something.

#45 Note that I didn’t say that I write well, I just said that I write. I have not figured out why my friends read my writings. I do not usually say anything of grand importance, deep meaning, or anything worthy of reading for that matter. I only write about what I know, myself.

#46 Rest assured that I do not have a problem with narcissism or a grand ego that needs constant care. After years of seeking for subject matter to write about I’ve reached the conclusion that I only know about me. I’ve also discovered that I haven’t fully explored me either.

Running Dialogue- Part 3

#34 I envisioned this piece as a navel-gazing type of piece wherein I try to solve some of the issues in my life by getting them out on paper. In case you haven’t figure it out yet I have some rules which I try to follow while writing this. Not that I have totally succeeded…

#35 I really do feel the world closing in on me. I do tend towards depression, or at least I have done so in the past. I wonder if I haven’t simply outgrown those depressive tendencies some. Usually optimism guides my day. My smart mouth does overrun my brain capacity sometimes.

#36 With all the vicious attacks hurled at me here of late I developed a little bit of a siege mentality. I find it difficult to resist the urge to believe that I work myself to death so that the rest of the world can do whatever the hell they want to do when they want to do it.

#37 I’ve made it this far and haven’t discussed anything of merit or importance. Have I truly become this mundane and trivial? Don’t answer that, I think I’d prefer the safety of my own delusions and I don’t want you to mess that up. My delusions have merit beyond your judgment.

#38 We all look for a key that will open the doors of mystery for us and reveal grand truths and meanings. I find nothing wrong with you, just go be you. Why do we keep searching endlessly for answers that we already inherently possess? I think we don’t believe it’s that easy.

#39 Even though scientists & philosophers try to make the world a big confusing mess, when it comes to the nutcutting the world runs on very simple principles. These prove difficult to explain, especially to folks expecting complications. Expecting? Most of us make complications.

Running Dialogue- Part 2

#12 I don’t really keep a poop list. I have no time to carry around grudges and hate but some recent events have forced me to create one. Only two things find place on my list. Religion completely wastes the time and minds of those who follow it. Religion drives me totally nuts!

#13 The stupid people that have allowed themselves to be duped and changed by the monstrous edifice called religion have made the list also and their rank rises rapidly now! It boggles the mind to see seemingly intelligent people fall victim to the vicious onslaught of religion.

#14 I know of a man who refuses to eat devil’s food cake or devilled eggs because they have the word “devil” in their names. I do not jest. I can give you the man’s phone number if you need confirmation. He quotes Bible verses prophet while his mind shrivels through lack of use.

#15 I’ve known of religious folks who went on missions to Africa. These folks possessed college degrees and worked in science oriented careers and seemingly possessed good sense. While in Africa some of them swore they saw imps and demons swarming after one poor helpless soul.

#16 It boggles the mind don’t it? How can one thing which started out with high, noble and spiritual aspirations can turn some people into babbling morons who choose to believe in science-fiction and would rather crush people for not following their rules than risk loving them?

#17 A few weeks ago in a fit of anger and total disgust I walked away from religion, again. As far as concerns me the whole stinking institution should sink into perdition’s fire and all the dimwits who follow after it with no understanding too! I can no longer tolerate them.

#18 Regrettably, or perhaps providentially, I control nothing in this world. Rest assured that if I had any control this nonsense about burning the Qur’an would not exist because anybody who had strong opinions either way would not have an opportunity to act on their stupidity.

#19 Honestly, one would not characterise my life or lifestyle as violent in spite of the things just said. I strive for peace. I desire peace. Religion brought out the best in Hillel, Jesus, Buddha, Muhammad, Gandhi and Jessica Alba but it forces out the worst in me and others.

#20 I have no desire to have others people think of me as a religious man. I do desire to lead a spiritual life, whatever that may mean. I do realise that religion without spirituality disjoints and dysfunctions our perception of reality. One needs both in order to do either.

#21 My studies in the past have forced me to consider the possibility that one must find the balance between religion and spirituality in order to achieve some measure of success in the path chosen and to find some small measure of peace in this turbulent world of our souls.

#22 Then again me full-up in shit and taking myself much too seriously could lay closer to the truth than all of my profound philosophical ramblings combined. Sometimes life is living and living is life. Perhaps no greater truth needs knowing than that. That and Jim oozes genius.

#23 You have no need to fear my awesome brilliance. I really know nothing more than you do. I have travelled down a few paths which you may not have known existed. These roads have given me valuable experience and I place more intrinsic value in experience than I do in knowledge.

#24 Only the purifying fire of experience can make knowledge beautiful and valuable. As a ham radio operator I have read a few thousand lines of instruction that made no sense whatsoever. Only by trying to work out the instructions did they begin to make sense and begin to work.

#25 What a profound thought! We could all learn the lesson that we need to work the instruction for the instruction to work. I wish I could come up with something more profound for the halfway point of this masterpiece of literary genius but genius eludes me right at the moment.

The Running Dialogue- Part 1

#1 People have done the 50 things meme since the begininng. I bet Al Gore did the 50 things right after he invented the internet. I usually never make it to 50 things. I usually poop out around 35 things. I designed this project differently though, so maybe I can go the distance.

#2 Let me forewarn my more sensitive readers. The nature of this meme, along with spiritual and therapeutic overtones of it, lend it to random and spontaneous writing. Some folks will not appreciate my subject matter or my language. The easily offended may not want to read this.

#3 With this writing I will explore some personal, spiritual, and therpeutic things. I must admit that this scares me a quite a bit. I really have no idea what this project will turn up but I feel the necessity of pursuing this. I hope to repent living in the windless doldrums.

#4 Writing all this preliminary stuff prevents me from tackling some issues. Maybe I can write all 50 things all like the above then I will not have the time or the space to tackle any of the stuff you want to see but I don’t want to discuss. What’s life without adventure though?

#5 Current reading- The Education of Henry Adams by Henry Adams. An old Adams writes this autobiography and explores how his fine education did not equip him for the radical changes the “Industrial Revolution” brought. I can relate, only substitute “information” for “industrial.”

#6 On the turntable- I have found 34 songs by Edith Piaf in the public domain. I speak no French but I find her voice so enchanting, even though all these songs sound the same. She lived a rather radical life and the Catholic church denied her a proper burial. Yep, she has cred!

#7 Some folks will think it odd of me to scour the public domain for entertainment. I, too, accuse myself of odd behaviours, but I do believe that our mad quest at our mad pace blows right past some really amazing stuff. Progress for the sake of progress endangers us culturally.

#8 Instead of constantly blazing new trails into uncharted areas we ought to slow down some & apply some discretion to the world which we’ve created. Sometimes I feel that our so-called progress outpaces our wisdom & knowledge. Bad things may not happen but why take the risk?

#9 In my opinion, progress does not necessarily give us good or evil results. Many good things happen because of progress. Public sanitation comes to mind as a very positive result of progress. Public sanitation has lead to a sharp rise in healthy lives in developed countries.

#10 Communications progress has given us the wonders of email and internet tv, which fall into the positive column, the isolation and technology dependence of our modern online society surely must land squarely in the negative column. We have yet to achieve balance in this area.

#11 My odd behaviours will not bring about any substantive change in culture or society. One man acting goofy changes little but does provide a few hours of entertainment for the masses that like his eccentricities. As a society we should enforce a rule that reads “have fun.”

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