Musings from the Manhut

Where the ebb and flow of life creates a cascade of words down the paper's face

Tag: brain dump

Brain Dump/Rant- Telephony, Freedom and the Stupidest Generation

Running just a little late tonight on the old brain dump. Sorry about that.

I’ve been playing around quite a bit with internet telephony and studying on the simple solutions to free phone calls. I’m afraid that I haven’t found a “simple” or totally free (as in both free beer and as in free speech) yet but this is a work in progress.

I have been using the PDA to make calls over the internet. I am told that those calls are actually better than my calls from the desktop and even better than the calls from the Blackberry. I am just so excited that I found a work around that allows me unlimited calling for free and I can use wifi instead of 3g.

I’m tempted to remain a cell customer and get just a data plan for the phone and load an sip client on that for calls. Tempted, but at this point I think I would rather have the money in my pocket than a duplicate of something that I can do for free.

The whole free calling scheme involves, at this point, involves a big honking company that I am in no way comfortable dealing with. This company is a huge violator of laws and personal privacy.

But even with their egregious behaviour they are helping me to achieve some of my goals. Someday, hopefully sooner than later, I will set up a server and be able to have control of my email, my phone calls, and all my Web 2.0 ephemera.

Right now though I have lots of information to both wade through and try to understand. This stuff is way in the deep end of the pool and will take a boatload of time for me to sort out.

But it will be sorted out! I am tired of working myself to death for some fatcat corporations who rape us on a daily basis, drive the economy into the cesspool and then reap big bailouts as rewards for their ineptitude and greed.

Screw them. I am tired of working for them and watching my wages drop to third world levels. Here’s a news flash for you people who have some perverted view of American history- the business of America is not BIG business. It never has been. Traditional American policy has always been about the mom-n-pop businesses and the people employed by them. Only since just before the Great Depression have all eyes turned to dumbassed corporations for salvation.

And that view has tanked the American economy and will continue to destroy it. No nation in history, and I mean no nation, has ever achieved success without one of two things- SLAVERY or a MIDDLE CLASS.

America had her days of slavery and they disappeared. The middle class is disappearing here now. This will lead to a return to slavery.

Obama’s solution of using big government to solve our issues is idiotic. Perhaps it is not as idiotic as Bush’s big government and big business solution but it will still lead to ruination.

It’s time for we as a people to stand up to both entities. Maybe we don’t need a revolution but we need to tell them bozoes that we’re taking our freedom back.

Maybe it starts with people not freely giving out our information to Facebook and Google. Maybe it involves people standing up and realising that we don’t NEED $600 cellphones that cost us $100 a month to operate. Maybe we need to start demanding better computers and mp3 players by not buying the second-rate crap that Microsoft and Apple produce.

I’m probably just tired of being pushed around. I’ve been run thru the ringer the last few years and my toleration for nonsense is at an all time low. We let the dang government violate our Constitutional right in the airport and think it is all right. But then again we think it’s cool to pay an unreasonable amount of money every month for a cell phone so we can stay connected to the world all day everyday and spend $70,000 for a car that is so uncomfortable that one cannot walk for a week after a road trip in it.

If we call the generation that won World War 2  by the worthy epithet “The Greatest Generation,” our’s should probably be called “The Stupidest Generation.”

Brain Dump- keeping on keeping on

Ok so here’s the brain dump for the evening. Not sure if anyone is reading this stuff. It is ok if no one is, I guess.

I wrote some gogyohka today. Some of my early morning type of poetry. It reflects the dark mood that I was in this morning.

I have since had some decent news and I may not be nearly as sunk as I thought I was earlier this week.

I shouldn’t let that stuff get me down. It’s just life. Life in all it’s blustering glory.

SIP telephony works. I have made it work on several different computers and a handheld pda. I can drop the cellphone and still have phone capability and sms.

I do not have the money right now to pay the cancellation fees on the cellphone. The recent assault hurled at me makes the financials a mess until after the first of the year.

Luckily I am getting some overtime and when we went over a few things tonight and we are not nearly as bad off as I intially thought.

So unlike me to fall off the deep end. That is a joke folks!

I am beginning to understand a little more that remaining calm and thinking through stuff would be a good course of action for me to pursue.

When one has been kicked around as much as I have I guess it is really easy to get paranoid and assume that everyone and everything is out to get you.

And for a creative writer-type of person I am a very slow thinker and when under pressure I don’t think at all. Well I think. I just don’t do it well.

Ok, I’m coming around again folks. I’m not nearly as down as I could’ve been. Maybe tonight I can relax and get some rest. Jim Morgan http://www.jimmorgan.us

Dumping my Brain

Here is tonight’s brain dump. For the last few days, maybe the past couple of weeks, I have done this practice which is an odd mixture of zazen and surrealistic automatic writing. I’m not sure why or how but I have been finding this practice to be somewhat cathartic and maybe even therapeutic.

The practise involves me stopping everything for about 20 minutes or so, putting the brain in neutral and writing away. Writing whatever happens to pop into my head and exploring it a little and then brushing it aside.

I have been posting these thoughts as serial microblog posts and from there it went on to the various other social media outlets.

I have offended some people the last few days with some of my posts. Mostly the people were offended by the language which I used. These were religious folks. They are more concerned that I didn’t use pretty church language and act like my life is a bed of roses, that my hair is never messed up and that I have sex only for procreation.

I enjoy the banter that I get back from my friends as they read my rambling microblog posts. They really do help me to think through whatever situation that happens to come up. I really enjoy my brain dump time and the discussion with my peeps.

But yesterday’s barrage of insulting and hatefilled bullshit from folks who are more religious than they are Christian has forced me to reevaluate my placement of the brain dump.

If I put it here I am not interrupting anyone’s lifestream and if they choose to read it then it’s their choice. I’m afraid the banter will be missed.

This process of mine, though it may be irritating to you, is proving to be a valuable thing to me. It’s helping me to relax. It helps me to get the crap floating around in my head and it gets put to rest.

You see, I don’t sleep. It’s almost impossible for me to ever relax. This almost-zazen is helping me to do that.

Sometimes I go off on a tear about some weird topic and have some fun with other times I write some pathetic, whiny crap like I am writing tonight. It has been a good adventure.

I am in a very bad spot in life right now. The proverbial is really hitting the fan right now. I am having a tough time keeping to a level keel. Several times a day I feel like my sanity is floating away from me and I am in a mad rush trying to get it back.

To have some religious fruits criticise my choice in vocabulary and not ask me if anything is wrong is distressing and stressful. I shouldn’t have used the language that I did. That was wrong and I do apologise for it but the comments and emails I received over it reminded of all the hate of my youth. It reminded me of believing that God hates me.

I dunno. Looking at my track record maybe God does hate me. I’ve lived the larger part of my life believing that and maybe I was wrong trying to believe in all this God loves me stuff.

Maybe I’m crazy. I’m just so tired of fighting this nonsense. I can’t believe what some people get all hung up on. Bible doesn’t saying anything for or against cussing, or gambling or a whole host of other supposed sins in the church.

I guess I have done my brain dump for the evening. Sorry it was a little more on topic than most of them and sorry it ain’t funny or weird.

But as always it is real.

Tag: brain dump,
Jim Morgan http://www.jimmorgan.us

Apologies and I’m probably going to settle down a bit…

So yesterday was one of the worst days in my life. Everything that could go wrong did so and with quite a bit of gusto. The larger problems are my own fault I freely admit it. I saw something like the current events were possible but ended up doing little to stave off the onslaught of life that I will be facing over the next few weeks.

Suffice it to say I was mad yesterday. Mad at myself mostly, for not doing what I knew needed to be done months ago. I was also mad at banks, corporations, God, some other people, autism, schools and a whole bunch of other people. I was really mad. Really really mad.

I made some posts yesterday that were strongly worded. I should not have made these posts. I should’ve just walked away, had a beer and cooled off but I didn’t and that was wrong.

A few real friends seeing that these posts were slightly out of character asked me what was up and I have responded to them, hopefully in a gracious manner. I thank them for their love and care. I will be ok, I’m just not going to be fun for a few weeks.

The super-sanctimonious-crowd (and who knew it was such a big crowd) didn’t really care about any issues that I may be having in my life but they were kind enough to point out that my language could be viewed by younger folks and remind me that God doesn’t love cussers. I thank them for their nudge. I have deleted the offending posts, or at least the two that generated the most hate mail.

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